Childish Attitude You Won’t See On Successful People
“We begin to be mature ADULTS only when we cease to whine, revile and commence to search for the hidden justice which regulates our life.” — James Allen, As A Man Thinketh
It’s interesting to witness how human development takes place. To see how every human started from just a single cell and in a span of time transformed to a fully developed adult being. But it is much interesting to think that being a true adult cannot only be measured by any physical form. More often than not, being a mature adult can simply be seen when a person starts to handle a certain conflict.
In an infamous customer-to-manager argument, in a glance you’ll know which of the two has an attitude of a child.
Same goes if a driver cuts off someone else’s car on a speedy hi-way, it is more easy to conclude that the driver is not so different from a kid who grabs a candy from his playmate.
This trait is a phenomenon in psychotherapy called transference, first described by Sigmund Freud.
In the book, The Road Less Travelled, M. Scott Peck defined transference as — “the set of ways of perceiving and responding to the world which is developed in childhood and which is usually entirely appropriate to the childhood environment, but which inappropriately transferred into the adult environment.”
Robert Greene from the book Mastery defined it as naive perspective. He wrote — “although it is natural to have such a perspective because of the unique character of our childhood, it is also dangerous because it envelops us in childish illusions about people, distorting our view of them. We carry this perspective with us into the adult world.”
If we study the root cause of most conflict nowadays, we will often see that everything simply started from a infantile manner that a person bursted out to another person.
For no good reason, a lot aged, but never mature.
Today, let’s examine ourselves by answering some of the questions below. What are the childish traits most people still carry onto their adulthood.
CHILDISH Attitude Everyone Should Give Up Immediately:
- Loves comfort, avoid discomfort— When was the last time you intentionally try something uncomfortable?
- Mimic others — How do you define YOUR success?
- Motivated by immediate rewards —What if success first requires blood, sweat and tears?
- Jealousy — Who is your greatest competitor?
- Impatient. Bore immediately. Hates the long haul— What if “shortcut” is not an option?
- Thought contained, always looks forward to what’s next— How do you describe ‘being at the moment’?
- Not taking responsibility, pointing fingers — Do you think you have control to create your environment?
- Easily distracted —Who and what deserves your attention?
- Scarcity mentality, thinks there’s always little left —What is your view about abundance and transformational relationship?
- Think he is being entitled to complain— What is the best privilege you own right now?
- Tolerate internal tantrums— Do you imagine the future more than you think of the past?
- Fixed, victim mentality — Are you on a growth or fixed mindset? Check this infographic to find out.
- Afraid of solitude, never internalize— When was the last time you disconnect, physically and digitally?
- Elementary mentality, don’t want to copy and be copied, loves originality— Who is the best person you can reach out in terms of your growth?
- Non-proactive, needs to be told, guided— How do you start your day?
- Autopilot on daily routines— How much of your schedule was deliberately planned?
- Impulsiveness, decides with emotions— Can you elaborate the exact way how you make decisions?
- Fills up empty time with entertainment— What will you do if you will be given 1 hour of total free time right now?
“Think of young children during kindergarten and first grade. They are enthusiastic and volunteer for everything, raising their hands and excited to learn. Now fast-forward ten years, and think about those same children as high school students — the ones sitting in the back of the class, never making eye contact with adults, and absolutely never volunteering or asking a question. They have disengaged from the learning process. What happened to these children? Ten years of schooling.” — Sharon Letcher
It is heartbreaking to read the question pointed above by motivational speaker Sharon Letcher. What happened to these children?
Is there a best way to keep the helpful attitude while leaving the unhelpful ones? What seems to happen today is the opposite.
If there are unhelpful childish attitude that needs to disappear immediately, there are also GOOD childlike attitude everyone should keep forever.
Here are for keeps:
- You treat everything as play
- Competitive
- No concept of failure only learning
- Never give up
- Always open and has the burning desire to grow
- Not afraid of reaching out
- Imagine the impossible
- Listens
- At the moment
- No fear of being judged
- Curious
- Ask the hard questions
- Smile a lot
- Dream big
- Content with what it is
- Never run out of ideas
- Cry — Well, I guess being an adult “It’s still ok not to be ok.”
Being an adult is not just having a well-developed body, it’s how a person is willing to give up attitude that is only forgivable to a child.
A mature person are the ones who deliberately improve their attitude. According to Nick Wignall a Clinical Psychologist, “mastering our inner game is the key to a real self-improvement and that will lead us to advancement in life.”
On the book The Art Of Possibility the author explained how freeing inappropriate childhood traits can open more doors for possibilities, “If we were to design a new voyage to carry us from our endless childhood into the bright realm of possibility, we might want to steer away from a hierarchical environment and aim for the openness and reciprocity of a level playing field — away from a mind-set of scarcity and deficiency and toward an attitude of wholeness and sufficiency.”
Internal improvement affects external results, it reflects from a simple conversations, to the things you create, and most especially to the achievement you’ll have.
If you decide to give up the right thing, you will see yourself on a very different angle, you will upgrade, and eventually be considered to be a ‘real’ grown-up.
I call this a life saver…
I’ve designed a Journaling Template to put yourself to be a constant GOAL achiever. You follow this daily, your life will change forever.
